What ******* programming language do I start with?

Short Answer: It doesn’t matter.

Long Answer:

Programming in today’s age uses the same or extremely similar concepts in practically every area.

You are using classes, objects, functions, variables, the only “real" difference is in syntax, which shouldn’t take too long to learn, after you already know one language to a small degree.

My first language that I chose in Elementary school was Python, I practically stumbled across it and spent ages messing with it.

To this day, I still use it, very often, and its my go-to preferred language. That’s the best part. It doesn’t matter. Almost every high level programming language can do the same thing as another, just a little differently.

For example, after Python, I messed with some Lua game engines, and as a kid, I messed around with the, then small, platform “ROBLOX", which makes use of Lua and goes as far to fork it, and add custom features specific to the platform.

Lua is an embedded language, generally not intended for standalone use, in most cases.

I now realize, that Lua is extremely similar to Python, and most things that I write in one language, can be easily rewritten in the other.

C# and Java are extremely similar as well, and those who are familiar with one, will have an easier time moving to the other. The syntax is near identical.

Javascript and PHP are the current widely used web development programming languages for backend and front end functions. However, what you might not know, is that most high level programming languages, especially Python and Java, can replace PHP as a backend language. Although, JavaScript may still be relatively essential for frontend functions, due to a lack of “near perfect replacements".

It’s because of this reasons, that there are no great answers to the question.

But if I tried, and bias applied:

1. Python — User friendly, PIP package manager makes installing packages a total breeze. No lack of modules, 3rd party tools and IDEs, and community members.
2. C#/Java — These languages are not all too similar. However their syntaxes are extremely similar, so its easier to group them. C# is quite fast and runs natively on all modern Windows devices and support is through the roof for it, on many platforms and operating systems. Java runs on practically anything, including an Android smart fridge — speaking of, Java is the native language for Android. This makes Java an amazing choice for a widely available program.
3. JavaScript — I hate JavaScript, I really do. It’s ugly and messy at times. However, it is extremely powerful. It is the most widely used and most powerful front end web development language (and can be used for backend), as well as being capable of things completely unrelated to web development, especially when combined with 3rd party modules.
4. Who cares. There is no number 4, for me. There are so many languages to choose from, just have a go at one and hope for the best. The next language I intend to pursue is “Go", made by Google. It looks extremely promising and I hear is quite fast. Making it quite useful for looping and iterative tasks, which require efficiency.

I hope this was helpful and made your choice easier!